As a child I was always a fan of the window seat when flying. Then I grew taller and became a fan of the aisle seats where I could comfortably stretch out my legs as long as it wasn't beverage service time. Even better would be if I lucked out with an aisle emergency exit seat. But it looks like those of us who prefer the aisle seat have yet another reason to do so: safety.

In a study commissioned by United Kingdom's Civil Aviation Authority, where 105 plane accidents and 2000 personal accounts were analyzed, emergency exit seats and the rows in front and behind them were found to be the safest. For the best chance of escaping from a burning aircrafts, the report said that passengers should choose aisle seats near the front of the aircraft and within five rows of the emergency exit.

What are the most dangerous seats? Anything six rows or more from the emergency exit. Here are the survival rates for escaping from a burning aircraft:

• Front of the aircraft, 65%
• Rear of the aircraft, 53%
• Aisle seat, 64%
• Non-aisle seat, 58%

Need help on just how to score an emergency exit seat? Read this.

Flight delays, baggage complications and tight seating; flying isn't really on anyone''s list of favorites anymore. But because the state of airline and airport affairs is so mediocre, whenever you have a good experience there is a sense of elation; "My plane landed on time?!?!? Great!" That feeling is a whole lot better than knowing that you'll be flying into one of the world's most delayed airports.

If you want to plan your flying schedules around the airports that are known for getting their jets in and out in a timely fashion -- so you can actually stick to your travel schedule -- where should you go? MSNBC posted an article today with America's top 15 most on-time airports. Here are the top five with their percentage of on time flights:

1. Honolulu International, 84.3%
2. Kahului, 84.2%
3. Portland International, 81.8%
4. Salt Lake City International, 81.1%
5. Albuquerque International, 81%
   

Check out the other ten here and then book accordingly.



Thanks Emma!

On my first trip abroad, I was appalled that none of my travel companions-- mostly Australians, Britons, Germans, and Swedes-- had ever heard of my hometown, St. Louis, Missouri.

I eventually ended up telling them, during the course of the where-are-you-from game that travelers play, that I lived "near Chicago." Such humiliation is outmatched only by that of a native Bostonian who's forced to tell his fellow travelers that he lives "near New York."

Before long, I realized that although relatively few people outside the US knew of St. Louis, almost everyone was familiar with Budweiser, the sweet nectar made by St. Louis' largest corporate resident, Anheuser-Busch. The recent offer to A-B from InBev, a massive Belgian-Brazilian brewery company, has got me thinking about how I'll identify myself abroad if the deal goes through. "Yeah, St. Louis. You know, the North American headquarters of InBev, a corporation based in Beuven, Belgium."

I guess I should prepare myself for a lot of blank stares. Either that, or I'll just tell them I live near Chicago.

Elsewhere: In its "What do you think?" feature, The Onion asks "random" people on the street for their reactions to the proposed sale of Anheuser-Busch to Inbev.

Says one man: "Those greedy Belgians. First they annex the German districts of Eupen-Malmedy in 1919, and now this."

Says another: "St. Louis is not about to give up its last remaining source of hometown pride after losing Scott Bakula to Hollywood."

Priceline recently announced the details of their "Sunshine Guaranteed" vacation package which offers vacationers a "refund if their vacation is rained out."

As expected, to actually receive a refund from Priceline, the forces of nature must properly align in order to meet the rigid conditions set by the fine print. For example,

• You must book between June 2 and July 17, 2008 and travel between July 1 and September 7, 2008.
• Qualifying vacation packages must be 3-8 days in length.
• Travel must commence at least 12 days after a package is purchased.
• It must rain more than .5 inches for more than half of your total stay (including travel days).
• Rainfall amounts are measured at the destination airport of the vacation package.
  
• Rainfall will also be audited by a private independent provider of weather information.
• Rainfall samples must be collected by consumer in quart-sized Ziploc® bags.

Okay, so I made that last one up. But seriously -- I can assure you there's going to be some ticked off people this Summer who book this "Sunshine Guaranteed" package from Priceline and fail to read the fine print.

On the other hand, hurricane chasers might be well off booking a package through Priceline this season.

[Via The Cranky Flier]

It seems that every time we turn around, airlines are hitting us up with new fees, from baggage costs to making us shell out for pretzels inflight.

It can be difficult keeping up with this stuff.

Luckily, travel guro Rick Seany has compiled a pretty comprehensive chart of all the different fees we now have to contend with on his Web site. I'd bookmark it, and refer back to it often. It's current through yesterday.

Everything is accounted for here: Luggage fees; fees to select your seat; which airlines are still offering inflight snacks and food; what different airlines are charging for unaccompanied minors. Everything. It's handy. Check it out.

A few weeks ago I asked, in relation to a man's $2 million lawsuit against JetBlue for being forced to sit three hours in the toilet, whether that wasn't a wee too much money to be seeking.

Now, from the New York Post, comes a report that a Manhatten man is suing Delta Airlines for $1 million for...ruining his mother's 80th birthday.

Richard Roth's suit claims that a Delta worker caused him and his immediate family to miss a flight to Buenos Aires, leaving them stranded in Atlanta and forcing the family -- Roth's wife, two children and 80-year-old mother -- to drive to Miami to pick up another flight, the Post says. Then Roth alleges Delta lost the group's baggage.

The story, reported here in full in the Post, sounds like a real nightmare. Roth had arranged to fly a good portion of his family, including some cousins, to BA this past December. After arriving for their connecting flight in Atlanta, Roth says his party was barred from boarding the flight as the gate had just closed. Scrambling, Roth found another flight on an Argentine airline, leaving out of Miami, but Delta did not deliver the party's bags until after Christmas.

Roth sought $21,000 in reimbursement from Delta, which, perhaps not surprisingly, refused to pay. "I tried so hard not to sue," Roth told the newspaper.

No word yet on how $21,000 turned into $1 million, though Roth -- an attorney -- is claiming, among other things, that Delta caused his mother emotional distress.

JD Power and Associates just came out with their 2008 North American Airport Satisfaction Index Survey with some wild results.

Based on over 10,000 people surveyed, airline passengers rated Philadelphia the best among large (over 30 million passengers per year) airports around the country. Also in the top? Las Vegas and Orlando.

The worst three? Minneapolis, San Francisco and Seattle - Tacoma.

Airports were rated on six factors: airport accessibility, baggage claim, check-in/baggage check process, terminal facilities, security check, and food/retail services.

Take this data with a huge grain of salt though -- I dare say a rock. Even if you do have 10,000 data points, people can be wildly influenced and biased. Of course you're going to be happy in Las Vegas. You're gambling! Sure, people like Orlando. IT'S IN FLORIDA. Can you think of a reason why people would be unhappy and cranky in Minneapolis?

As an engineer, I would perhaps be more convinced if we had calibrated judges working on a larger scale, say 1 - 50 or 100.

But hey, small yellow balls and easily readable numbers make great fodder for overblown headlines, ridiculous accusations and political whining -- and that's what we as Americans are good at. We have only ourselves to blame for the noise in the data.

What I find most amusing about the report is how the media have jumped all over it. The Minneapolis St. Paul Business Journal and USA Today both claim that MSP was the worst rated airport, but none of the high-school-level data that JD Power & Associates published conclusively indicate that. Seattle - Tacoma, for example, also got "two little yellow balls out of five" in all of their categories. Furthermore, neither depot actually links to the real data, readily available on the JDPA website. Why not? Because they don't want you to do the thinking.

Here's what I propose to those of you that are actually interested: if you really want to see how JD ranked the airports, take a look at the site yourself, soak in the data and stop listening to idiots like me. Think about the source and quality of the data and then if you're convinced of their opinions in the end, you have my blessing.

For what it's worth, I think the study shows a lot of good trends and is a good basic tool to analyze the nation's airports. But don't base your entire life's thesis on what you read -- consider this data guidance on your enlightened path to your favorite -- and least favorite -- airport in the States.

Read the USA Today article here
or the MSP Business Journal article here.

Sorry for yelling.

When Mother Nature is doing her best to ruin your travel plans, either through thunderstorms, earthquakes, or hurricanes, it's hard to argue with an airline or hotel employee who says that you're screwed because these are "acts of God." After all, it's not the desk clerk's fault that most of your hotel has been reduced to a pile of rubble. So what can you do?

In light of the seemingly high number of natural disasters that have been popping up all around the globe, travel Sherpa Chris Elliott has some advice for finding your way home when disaster strikes, and for replying to any employee who invokes that old "act of God" line.

First, if it's important that your vacation goes as planned, buy a good travel insurance policy. Check with a travel agent to make sure you buy the right one, says Elliott. Also, although book-it-yourself travel is all the rage these days, travel agents come in handy when disaster strikes. Your agent will call around and ask for refunds, but "it's a team effort," writes Elliott. "While you agent is applying pressure for a full refund, it's no time to rest. Phone your airline, cruise line or hotel and find out if you can get your money back, too."

Finally, when your travel company is playing the "act of God" card, writes Elliott, you should respond with the "victim card." "You've just been caught in an earthquake, hurricane, tsunami or volcanic eruption, and you need to get outta there quickly. Even though travel companies don't want to bend their rules for you," says Elliott, "they can and they often will do it when you inform them of your circumstances.... Speak up! The people on the other end of the phone are human, and they are capable of compassion. They just need a little encouragement."

Whole thing here.

It appears that cruise lines will only take so much complaining.

Royal Caribbean has banned for life Cleveland residents Brenda and Gerald Moran after the couple has spent the last four years sailing with the company -- a total of six voyages -- and complaining about it every step of the way

"On all but one of those sailings the Morans felt there were a variety of service failures they experienced," Michael Sheehan, a VP at Royal Caribbean, tells the Associated Press. "In a small number of cases we agreed and compensated them appropriately. In most cases, however, we disagreed. Having concluded that we are unable to meet the expectations of the Morans, we have told them that they would be best served by sailing with another company."

What's really gotten the couple in trouble is that they posted all of their complaints -- including Brenda Moran having her birthday greeting sent to the wrong stateroom! -- and dealings with RC on their Web site Cruise Critic. There latest run-in involved a two week Alaska cruise on the Radiance of the Seas. Here are the bits that apparently sent RC over the edge, direct from the Moran's "review":

Our stateroom 8276 (AFT D1) was nicely appointed but the bathroom reeked of sewer smell for the entire 14 night cruise. Guest Relations did nothing but tell us about other guests who flush oranges, apples, silverware, diapers, etc down the toilet so we should talk to them. So our balcony door remained open the entire cruise even in 40 degree nights to keep the air fresh. Night 14 at midnight we have a guy banging on our door to deliver an envelope from the Hotel Manager giving us 20% off our next cruise. Too bad it took 2 weeks to do it.

Other Group Cruises, a gift was on the bed each night, but this cruise we got only 6 - DVD zipper case, a compass that is a clock also, pens that light up & unscrew to be a light, tote bag with Royal Caribbean scarf, backpack looking item that is actually a duffel bag with a Royal Caribbean scarf in it & what resembled a bench seat that actually the felt blanket pulls out to be a waterproof Royal Caribbean poncho which we used in 4 rainy days at ports.

We are Diamond members and on other Member Cruises we had FREE Seattle's Best Specialty coffees (Latte, Espresso, Cappuccino as well as regular & decaf) but not this one. The Concierge Lounge is now for Suite Guests only. We have a Diamond Lounge which past Member Cruises had the machine with china cups & plates for continental breakfast for all Diamond & Diamond Plus to enjoy. This Diamond Lounge on Radiance had a plastic push button coffee server with paper cups & milk on ice. 30 minutes after it was delivered the coffee was cold.

While I can't understand whole sentences here, it seems in general to be pretty trivial stuff (the sewage problem notwithstanding). Still, RC sided with the couple on this on, offering them $500 in addition to that 20 percent off voucher.

Not long after their review went live, a RC customer service executive contacted them to demand they take it down. They refused. A day later, they were blacklisted.

In fairness, other cruise fans who frequented Cruise Critic had been complaining that the couple was using the site, and complaining in general, simply to get freebies from RC. Some posters on the site even contacted RC directly to complain about, among other things, the couple getting that 20 percent off voucher and $500 for the sewage incident.

Whether the Morans were diligent consumer advocates or simply scam artists, RC is finished dealing with them. Last November, they sent the Morans a letter making the travel ban official: They cannot set foot on any RC ship, including subsidiaries Celebrity and Azamara.

The day of airline corner cutting is upon us. United Airlines just announced that they reduced the minimum miles that you can earn on a flight to the actual flown distance. Let me explain:

Until now, most fares that you booked that were under 500 miles as the crow flies were automatically rounded up to earn 500 miles for each flight. The perk was created to award the poor saps who have to fly short distances frequently over the course of a year -- for example, if you had to fly from Detroit to Chicago and back every week for work, its only about 250 miles one way or 500 round trip. Rounding up though, you would get 1000 miles/trip, meaning every 25 itineraries you would be able to redeem an award for a 25,000 mile ticket.

Similarly, if you're connecting from Flint - Detroit - Chicago, you would get 500 + 500 miles.

But under these new rules, you would only earn miles as for the exact distance you flew. So on the first Detroit-Chicago itinerary you would get 250 miles one way and on the second route you would get 40 + 250. Cool huh?

United is the first legacy carrier to break rank and start scooping into its mileage program. I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the carriers slowly fell, much as they all did with the extra bag policy.

Expect mileage accrual to change July 1. Between now and then you can check out United's new policy here and weep at the loss of another great frequent flying perk.

Credit for the ironic picture of the day goes to Jason McHuff on Flickr.